Out of the womb, into the world!

It is good to be at peace...

and having pants that fit doesn't hurt either.

I don't know why but a couple weeks ago (oddly enough when Braxton Hicks started in) I got way TOO eager for the baby to be born. And then i went to my friends house for knitting. I hadn't been in a really long time as it if far from my house. But it was great. We go after all kids are in bed and knit for a few hours. One mom had JUST had her baby, and two others are very VERY pregnant. To see someone else doing so beautifully that was further along then me really helped. AND THEN... I had a dream that night that the baby was born at home but no one was here and it was waaaaaaaaay little. and the placenta wouldn't come out. and people were outside my house trying to get in but couldn't. we were alone. and I looked at the sweet tiny little boy with really long blonde hair and said "we should have waited..."

ever since then I have felt SO much better about the purpose of the last few weeks and how I want my baby to be healthy and big and wait.

Then on monday Juliah and I had girly time at the mall and I bought some jeans that fit and a few non maternity but large and major clearance shirts... I feel much less huge now that my clothes fit, even though i hate buying maternity clothes for the last month....at least i will have them for next time.

I have everything from the checklist for the midwives and the birth kit just came in the mail. I really only have a couple things I need to get and to do:

SNAPPIS -- have some diaper pins but after seeing these in action, it is a must!

one pack of disposable newborn dipes --- for the first couple days of weird poo, I would feel much better if they were chlorine/chemical free

have dayna take baby bump pictures-- with juliah, clay and tiffany in them

TIFFANY COME BACK HOME-- I have mentally prepared for going into labor without her being here but it is going to be so special and it would mean so much if they made it back in time.

finish my website for my classes-- the domain that I have owned since febuary but I haven't gotten the darn thing published!!

do you really want to rain on my parade?

So blessed

Last week, Clay and I celebrated five years of marriage. He came home from Drill and I had cleared everyone out of the house and made a big meal with cheesecake to finish. It was the first time we were home alone together in two and half years (the day before Juliah was born). It was great to have the whole house to ourselves even for just a few hours... and best of all the white chocolate cheesecake turned out PERFECT. After having cheesecake at our wedding reception I decided to make it for our first anniversary but sadly I burnt my fingers in the oven and dropped the cheesecake all over the floor and cried for a long time... and haven't attempted to make it since. I got it over finally and made it last week and it has given me enough confidence to make it for anniversary here on out.

And then this week we continued the celebration by going to the hotel at oldtown for our first night together alone. The hotel was beautiful. We reserved a suite just so I could enjoy the gigantic bathtub... which I did get in 4 times within the one night we stayed there. The whole evening was so wonderful. We were surrounded by live music, had a wonderful dinner (in which I treated myself to half of clay's shiraz), and soaked up every minute just the two of us. There was one point while I was laying in the hot bubble filled water that I realized I had never been so relaxed in all my life.

I am enjoying growing this baby ever so much. It moves more than Juliah did and in a very different way. And even though I have pelvic symphisis (?)  it is little bother compared to my delight. basically it means the baby puts pressure directly on my pubic bone which makes it feel like it is sore or breaking... hip swaying and rolling helps and it really isn't bad since I know what it is and that it will GO AWAY when it the baby descends.... I couldn't fathom this pain on top of pushing! Downside is once a woman gets it it doesn't go away and usually comes back with every pregnancy. But as I said a small thing compared to the wonders of it all. I may be seeing my baby the month after next. .....As sad as it is to reach the end of a pregnancy it is a joyous thing to meet the newborn!!

here is a picture of me a few weeks ago at the ocean: